The Subtle Assault that is Kaidan Alenko
by potionsmaster
Summary: The companion piece to "The Lazy Beauty of John Shepard". John reflects on his partner's good looks and other traits, too. John's POV. [mshenko]


_**The Subtle Assault that is Kaidan Alenko**_ , by potionsmaster

Rating: M. Hmm, I wonder...

Summary: John's musings on his partner's good looks and other traits, too.

A/N: I blame Chibi_Chibi_60 for this one, lol. I asked John what he thought, as promised, and was not disappointed. Same night. John's POV. Game 3 on the Normandy. The relationship is still shiny and new, just a few days old.

* * *

"John..."

That voice...that wonderful, smoky voice, smooth and rough all at the same time. Saying my name. Not my rank, or my last name, but _my_ name. Me. It makes my stomach flutter. I don't think I could ever tire of hearing it in that voice. I let it wash over me, like music.

"Hmm?"

"I thought you, uh... _wanted something_ tonight."

"I do..." I say sleepily through the pillow. Especially if he keeps up that suggestive tone. Oh my god, how can his _voice_ be that sexy? It's probably a good thing I'm face down on the bed; he can't see what his gentle rasp does to me. I hear him move into the bathroom again and the sink going as he finishes brushing his teeth. He thinks I don't know he whitens them, but I saw the toothpaste in his bag. Whatever makes him happy.

"You'll have a hard time convincing me of that."

The voice is back. Mmm.

"Well, I _do_...I just...I'm too tired, Kaid. I'm just gonna lie here. Do whatever you want with me."

I hope he does. I think I know what's on his mind. Same thing that's been on mine ever since – well. The SR1, if I'm truly honest. But only now is it...what the hell? Is he... _tickling my foot?_ I glance over my shoulder at him, amused and pretending to be annoyed. My eyes meet his: soulful darkness that's playful and holds a promise of other things, mischievous smile across his lips.

" _Not_ what I had in mind, soldier."

He slides carefully next to me on the bed and I throw my arm around him, playing with the soft hair on the back of his head.

"Perhaps you should be more specific, Commander..."

His husky voice has a teasing tone that doesn't detract from the sexiness in the slightest. I roll lazily on my side to face him, bringing us nose to nose. I let a smile grow on my face as I gaze at him, letting him see a bit more of _me_ instead of 'Commander Shepard'. For some reason, it's easier tonight. This is going to take some getting used to; I've schooled my face to be neutral for so long, sometimes I think I've forgotten what it's like to actually emote. It's a little nerve-wracking.

I search his face, drinking in the image of his strong features. He's like the dark, mysterious leading man in the romance vids him and Tali like to watch, but that's not what attracted me to him.

Honestly.

It's kind of amazing how his kindness and intelligence snuck up on me; one day I woke up and was just overwhelmed by how much a part of my life he'd become and how I needed him in it. The subtle assault that is Kaidan Alenko: you think you're just good friends, then BAM! You're head over heels and there's no fighting it.

"Perhaps you should show a little initiative to impress your CO," I gently tease back. He doesn't waste any more time or words when his lips touch mine, my eyes closing at such a tender caress. He moves closer and our legs intertwine. I can't hide my excitement from him and my cheeks flush in embarrassment at my quick reaction; it's almost reassuring to feel his in response. I still move my hips away from his; I can't help it. I've been without 'contact' for so long, I still can't really believe he actually wants to be with me. After everything we've been through...I don't want to pressure him into – _ohhhh_ , my.

I guess he doesn't feel pressured, since his hand is wrapped around me. My pajamas are an annoyance, but I don't presume to expect anything more. I don't know how fast 'real' relationships are supposed to go...I've never really had any other than a few quick flings. Are we moving too quickly? Any other thoughts I have go out the window when I feel him move on me.

" _Kaidan_..."

His name falls from my lips, ghosting against his pulse as he covers my body with his. God, his skin is so warm against mine...he apparently thinks my pj's are getting in the way, too, because there is no cloth between his hand and _me_. He has me panting like a schoolboy as his thumb slicks the bead moisture around my slit. Man knows how to handle equipment, I'll give him that. One of his many subtle qualities that I admire so much about him. Wait, no – that sounds bad.

I can't really think at the moment. My body's taken on a life of its own as it rises to meet his. He's a maestro and my body his symphony; he's coaxing all these physical responses from me. That's just not fair; he found one of my favorite things is being kissed behind my ear. Without fail, it always makes me a quivering puddle of need. Enough's enough. I run my hands down his sculpted back and past his own pajamas, digging my fingers into those perfect globes and grinding myself against him. Maybe I'm more awake than I thought. I let my hand drift between him and dear god, he _moans_ in my ear.

Sexy as fuck.

"...thought you said you were tired..."

Two can play this game.

"Someone woke me up," I growl in his ear, letting my own voice go raspy and low to match his while I press my finger against his entrance. I resist the urge to nip at him; I don't know how rough he likes it. He takes a shuddering breath and writhes against me. I throw my other hand towards my nightstand, searching for that little bottle. I find it and roll us over so I'm on top and hungrily kissing those full lips. His legs are wrapped around mine, holding us together, hips rolling. I pull back with a small grin, running my tongue over a canine.

His eyes are so dark with want, lips swollen. In all my wildest dreams and notions, I never thought I would see him look at me like this again. I'm torn between kissing him again or putting my attention elsewhere. Lust wins and I roll him onto his stomach, getting rid of his pesky nightclothes. Mine are quick to follow. I nearly come undone as he arches himself against me. I kiss his shoulders and neck while I prepare each of us.

Any coherent thought goes away as we lose ourselves in each other. His biotics spark to life and spread to me, energy shared in waves of blue-tinted pleasure. The last wave comes crashing down on us, a tsunami of breathless exhilaration. I pull him close as I collapse on the bed, boneless and utterly spent.

"Do what _I_ want, eh?" comes the quiet chuckle after a moment of catching our breath.

I bury my nose behind his ear, tightening my hug around him. I never want to let him go now that I have him. He takes my right hand and holds it against his chest. I can feel his heartbeat, strong and sure. My own steadies itself and tries to match its rhythm. Is...is this what love feels like? I don't know. It's definitely too soon for that.

But I never stopped _needing_ him _...wanting_ him. What if he doesn't feel the same? He has two years more than I do invested in whatever it was that we had; spent trying _not_ to need me or miss me. Are we at such a different level emotionally that all we have is the physical? I have to stop thinking like this, or else I'll go crazy. Just concentrate on the here and now...the steady thump of his heart beneath my hand. I can pretend it beats just for me, if only for a little while.

"Told you I wanted something tonight."

I try to tell myself it's not selfish to want this every night. I don't believe me yet.

* * *

A/N: He worries more than he lets on.


End file.
